A special dedication

To the two people who are fixated on my life and think it is normal, acceptible and appropriate to dictate my life, threaten me, harrass me and try to make me feel how they feel. These two people are regular viewers on my blog, my tracker tells me so, no even an IP address blocker works cos I have a tracker that gets past blockers for the very reason I am blogging today.
This is my temporary official notice to the two people concerned to suggest that they remove the unhealthy fixation they have with me, my personal life and my online life, they have no reason to be interested and no reason to think they can threaten me or dictate to me.
So, after taking legal advice last night I have decided on three courses of action. The first one is this blog post. I cannot talk rationally to these people as they make demands and do not listen to someone else, the kind of conversations are intimidating, controling, accusing and most definitely suppressing. I will not tolerate this, I do not have to tolerate this and I am continuing with my promise to take legal action against these two people. It is not a once in a while thing, it is continuous with one person and the 2nd time with the other. All I can think is the first person isn't past the feelings stage yet, because unless he has spent hours on the internet looking for me, he must have me on his Yahoo IM...in fact I know he does because I frequently check out who has me listed as I use my Yahoo not only for chatting to friends and family but I also use it to chat to people in my classes.
Anyway, after the domination attempt yesterday, I sat in the back garden and I had to laugh. Why? because for this person to think they have ANY control over life events and/or me is totally hysterical. I mean, did that person not tear life apart so badly that he has a police record? He has set himself a long history of aggression, threats, domination, violence and other psychotic tendencies. I, however, have the right to feel and be safe. Even being over 100 miles away these people think they can do what they like and maybe they can, in their lives, they can lie as much as they want to, they can fool themselves as much as they need to and can do whatever they choose. I live a good life, settled, calm, happy, busy, imperfect but I am happy, I have gone out of my way to call a truce, he doesn't want to know. Instead its insult, accusation one after another to the point where now that i've just looked up a website I find they BOTH have psychotic tendencies and therefore I will most definitely be following through with my promise of legal action. This is not the first time, nor the 20th time for this situation to arise, but I am working on it being the last time.

So, a few words i've found that will inform the perpetrators of how much they need help, thats assuming they even admit they have a problem....

Harassment:
The Law
Protection from Harassment Act 1997
Main features of the Act

The Protection from Harassment Act 1997 introduces four new criminal offences:
harassment (section 2): summary only, six months' imprisonment and/or a level 5 fine;
fear of violence (section 4); either way, five years' imprisonment and/or a fine on indictment; as above summarily;
breach of civil injunction section 3(6); either way, same penalty as S.4 offence;
breach of restraining order section 5(5); either way, same penalty as S.4.
A new civil tort of harassment is created by Section 3.
All of the offences are arrestable; S.2 under S.24(2) of PACE, which is amended by S.2(3) of the Act; the remaining offences by virtue of their five year maximum penalty.
Under section 5, the Crown Court and the magistrates' court can make a restraining order on conviction, prohibiting the defendant from doing anything described in the order, for the purpose of protecting the victim from further harassment or fear of violence. This is one of the major benefits of the Act; .

Elements of Offences
Offence of Harassment - Section 2

The elements of the section 2 offences are:
a course of conduct;
which amounts to harassment of another;
which the defendant knows, or ought to know amounts to harassment of another.
The defendant ought to know if his course of conduct amounts to harassment if a reasonable person in possession of the same information would think the course of conduct amounted to harassment of the other.
Section 7 defines a course of conduct as involving conduct on at least two occasions. Harassment is not defined, but includes causing alarm or distress, and conduct is defined as including speech.
Section 7(3)A provides that:
Conduct by one person shall also be taken to be conduct by another if that other has aided, abetted, counselled or procured the conduct.
The knowledge and purpose of the person who aids, abets, counsels or procures conduct are what was contemplated or reasonably foreseeable at the time of the aiding, abetting, counselling or procuring and not when the conduct occurs.
The amendment at (a) above makes it clear that a campaign of collective harassment by 2 or more people can amount to a “course of conduct”. It also confirms that one person can pursue a course of conduct by committing one act personally and arranging for another person to commit another act.
The amendment at (b) above ensures that the knowledge and purpose of the person who aids, abets, counsels or procures conduct is judged at the time that the conduct was planned and not when it is carried out. This may assist a defendant to offer a defence of reasonableness if, at the time that he commissioned a subsequent act, he was unaware that the first act had caused distress to the complainant. Such a defence would not succeed if the defendant ought to have known that the act would cause distress at the time that the subsequent act was commissioned.
This section extends the definition of “conduct” and “course of conduct” for the purposes of sections 1 to 5 of the Act. It was inserted by section 44 Criminal Justice Act 2001 and came into force on 1 August 2001.

This is just a small part of this Act, however I feel it is enough to prove to the two people that what they are doing is illegal whether they believe it or not. This information can be found on the CPS website, feel free to go see for yourselves.

Sociopath:
PERSONALITY TRAITS:
1. SUPERFICIAL CHARM -- the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, and slick. Not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. He never gets tongue-tied and has freed himself from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH -- a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. An arrogant guy who believes he is a superior human being.
3. NEED FOR STIMULATION (PRONENESS TO BOREDOM) -- an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Often has low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because he gets bored easily.
4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING -- can be moderate or high; in moderate form, and will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever (in extreme form, he will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest).
5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS -- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.
6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT -- a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.
7. SHALLOW AFFECT -- emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY -- a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE -- an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS -- expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR -- a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
12. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS -- an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
13. IMPULSIVITY -- the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
14. IRRESPONSIBILITY -- repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
15. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
16. MANY SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIPS -- a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
17. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY -- behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
18. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY -- A diversity of types of criminal offenses (regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them); taking great pride at getting away with crimes.
I actually feel sorry for these people, to think that one is with another and must be feeling so darned insecure and threatened that she has to take over a situation the way she does. He is obviously feeling what its like to be controlled in some way so I would have thought he would have understood that you cannot dictate how he does to people, life isn't like that! So, in summary we have an insecure person controlling a controller...oh my life how funny is that? Now knowing what I do about this one person I know that never in this lifetime will he admit to his feelings...but also knowing him as I do, he hasn't let go, he still has other feelings and he is not prepared to let them go or admit to them....sorry about that, I do not share those feelings, I haven't for a long time and I have moved on with my life, well moved on. So I suggest you start to do the same and go be happy, thats what life is about afterall right?

Well I think there is more than enough reading material for anyone there, this is not the kind of thing I would normally blog about but with the kind of attitude these people have and knowing how fixated they are on MY life and MY blogs then this is my friendly and informative way of saying this:

I have asked you a thousand times to say out of my life, there is only ONE reason for contact. I have been bullied and threatened by you both and your solicitor, it has to stop. I am and will be as flexible as possible for that reason. You are NOT my priority in my life and therefore I will NOT submit to your demands, threats or other inclinations towards bringing me down. I realise you both have a very low self esteem, I'm sorry about that, but I dont and therefore I will not allow you to bring me down. I suggest you get help, both of you before it gets worse for you both.

On that note, I am going in to my class now, this post was written on the suggestion of an influencial, legal person in my life somewhere and intended as a public warning of my intention to press charges. The result of which could quite likely take away the 'rights' the one person currently has. So please take note.

Goodbye to you both.